Log of my dreams

--July 08 2006--
I was playing some sort of videogame about a boy exploring a haunted house, which was mixed up with random memories of me at my old home. I wasn’t able to remember most of this dream, but I know it wasn’t very eventful until the boy entered the backyard to find a dark, creepy place where he is chased by a wolf into a room full of vampires. The “game” (which at this point I’m just experiencing directly) then becomes a musical puzzle of some sort and difficult to describe. I can’t recall how the song went, but the boy had to act in tune with it, a process represented by a convoluted grey surface directly in front of my eyes with snakes, traps and nondescript threats moving in and out of it. After the “song” the Vampires change the boy’s pants into shorts (supposedly very useful for entering a special room in the house) and ask him trivia questions about George Washington to determine wether or not they will kill him and drink his blood. Since he answers correctly, they become his good friends.

--February 22, 2006--

In this dream, I’m browsing the holiday decorations in the dusty old back-room of a huge mansion, while a maid and a groundskeeper work behind me. When I see the faint outlines of other people darting about the room, I realize the house is haunted, and the two workers run off without me. Now the room has changed to an outdoor shack, and I have to run across an expansive yard with the ghosts flying behind me. Eventually I make my way through the house and to the front door, but find it locked. I realize I’m dreaming and do my best to change the situation, but the most I can do is start acting like a ghost to throw the other ghosts off-guard. I even manage to float around a bit before they figure me out, chasing me into a bathroom. At this point, the ghosts are now zombies, and I am relieved to find a refrigerator in the bathroom because, for some reason, I know that its light is every zombie’s key weakness. With a corkscrew, I drill a series of holes in the bathroom door, then aim the fridge towards them and open it, causing the zombies great pain. Finally I kick open the bathroom door and am burning the zombies to a crisp.

The dream then shifts to young buisinessman in his office, talking to his friend about the zombies he conquered to become such a success. The friend is trying to tell him that zombies are highly unstable, and can’t be trusted for much longer. Outside, a window-washing zombie looks up at the sky and begins to hallucinate. He sees an airplane piloted by Teddy Roosevelt and the robots from “Mystery Science Theater 3000”, and I hear a voice claiming that the zombie was once “a Kennedy”, which made the hallucination seem very meaningful to me at the time, like a key twist in a movie.

--February 17, 2006--

A long, eventful dream that, as usual, I remember very little of. There was a band of different characters chasing eachother around, among them a fat brown octopus who sounded like Magilla Gorilla. In the end they are stranded in the sea and swimming for the nearest land mass, only to discover that the land is made up of penguins, who stand on the head of one giant penguin.

--February 5, 2006--

Dreamt about an alien who looked like an unshaven 20-something man with a very large, bulbous forehead. He was extremely eerie and filthy-looking, and walking into a Mcdonalds. A little old lady on the street tells him it’s very late (the implication being that the Mcdonalds should be closed, even though most of them are 24 hours these days), and the alien responds “yes, it will be quite busy”, supposedly proving that he is from another planet. I can then see through the restaurant windows, and there are dozens of his kind seated at the tables, all staring forward with tiny blue lights for eyes.


--December 30 2005--

Woke up in the middle of the night and very vividly envisioned a bunch of creatures hanging from my ceiling. They had glistening orange flesh and resembled giant barnacles, each with three tentacles that twined together into a single, tubular arm, bent like an "L". I felt more awake than I usually am for these types of things, and the image looked utterly real. As all of their "arms" turned to point at me, I rushed from the room, thinking to myself that they had always been there, and that I should have known they would eventually notice me. I felt stupid for always sleeping underneath them.

Then I woke all the way up and realized the absurdity of my thoughts, but had trouble returning to the room for several minutes as my heart continued pounding.

--December 09 2005--

Dreamt I was driving my car through a blizzard and noticing a lot of warning lights coming on. Just when they all went back off, however, a light came on that simply showed one of the giant asteroids from the game. I woke up just as I was thinking "an ASTEROID!? That's not good at all!"

--December 05 2005--

I dreamt random images of disgusting pig-creatures. One had a single nostril that took up most of its head, forming a big, flaring tube. Another looked like a human baby with piglike features. I then saw a person buying groceries with big, black tickets that had pictures of pigs on them, and somehow this visual alone explained to me that it was the future, and genetically engineered pig-people were a universal food and energy source. Instead of money, everything was paid for in pig-creatures, represented by the black tickets so people didn't have to carry them around.

Somehow this led to a story where Leanord Nemoy and two married skeletons were being wrongly arrested in some strange, foreign land. They didn't really seem to mind and had a good sense of humor about it. When they get thrown in jail, they decide to get some sleep, and all lie down under a big blanket. Seconds later, Nemoy jumps up coughing and gagging, because all manner of worms and beetles have crawled out of his skeleton friends. The disgusted face he makes is accompanied by a cartoonish foghorn sound-effect. This was the end of the dream.

--September 1 2005--

Dreamt I was watching a film about a ghost called the "cactus lady". She resembled the typical japanese style ghost, a girl with long black hair and chalky skin, but she had a huge, jointed cactus-stalk growing from a huge hole where her face would have been, which she was swinging around at a group of people. After some garbled nonsense I can no longer recall, she transforms into a huge, red humanoid covered in iron plates, with a bucket-like helmet, and a bunch of people create a "giant knight" (just a big robot guy) to combat her/him/whatever it is now. They battle with swords in the middle of a city, and the "scene" keeps focusing on a metal basket attached to the side of the "cactus lady's" helmet. Somehow this was supposed to be extremely profound and frightening because the basket was made to hold the severed head of her opponent. She gets sliced down the middle, and the dream ends with the entire cast of "dragonball Z" (what?!) clapping from the afterlife. This is the second dream I've had that inexplicably featured "dragonball" characters, and I'm not even a fan.


--june 13 2005--

Two odd, science-fiction dreams in one night. The first dream I remember very little about. I was a little kid again, and I had a book that seemed to be intended for adults, so I was hiding it (in real life, I never did anything like this as a child). It was a collection of stories illustrated by Wayne Barlowe (well-known science fiction illustrator) and the book's adult rating was entirely due to a single long, particularly warped story about a human woman stranded on a planet of presumably dirty and malicious blue aliens with no eyes and glowing green mouths. I wound up witnessing the story as if I was there, but nothing of an adult nature actually happened unless you count the ending, in which the woman turns the tables and becomes a "monster" herself. She lives in an abandoned house with dozens of the aliens strung upside-down in her attic, feeding on their blood (which is also blue, and glows brightly). Interestingly, the alien world looked exactly like earth right down to the buildings and vehicles, so maybe she was just hallucinating that everyone was a blue alien. Or my dream just wasn't being creative.

In the second, much weirder dream, I was visiting a "beach", but the beach was artificial, made of smooth brown concrete. There was a sky above and a horizon, but walls to the left and right that seemed to stretch on forever, containing the entire beach in a corridor about thirty feet wide, and a wall just a few feet behind the water's edge that had large, black glass doors. There were a handful of people playing at this beach, as well as a number of weird, presumably highly intelligent creatures including a "child" that looked like a giant trilobite. Suddenly everyone flew into a panic as two brown squidlike things appeared from the water. I got the impression that they weren't just animals, but evil alien creatures that were universally feared. I dove in and rescued the giant trilobite kid, then rode some sort of brown (I don't know why everything was brown. It was rather depressing) miniature whale back to shore. I entered one of the doors in the back wall, and found myself in a hallway lined with doors and a few branches/stairways. I let the trilobite go and ran to a tiny room that was presumably my home. I got the impression that everyone on earth lived in these rooms, which were cubicle-sized and laid out in this immense labyrinth. I also got the feeling that, for whatever reason, I had to keep it a secret from everyone that I had escaped the squids. As I washed my hands in my tiny sink, however, a black powder came off my fingers and down the drain, which I somehow thought would give away my secret and reveal my position to the squids, so I took my key and left the room. The key had a button on it that could be used to locate an unoccupied room, and once I did, a single button teleported all of my belongings to my new home. At this point I became worried that a friend of mine wouldn't be able to find me, so I started writing a note to go leave on my old door. I then became worried again because apparently I was in a relationship with this friend and she was secretly some sort of alien creature that wasn't really permitted to live there. I didn't actually see her in the dream, but I knew what she looked like; she had porcupine quills instead of hair. This is where I woke up, and almost didn't bother to write down this dream because I thought it was a rip-off of some sci-fi movie, but as my head cleared up I realized it had nothing to do with anything I'd ever seen or read.

In between the two bizarre science fiction adventures was a ton of more mundane stuff that I can't remember too well, but I recall that part of it had me visiting people who lived in a bayou, and in another part I was lost far away from home but felt extremely happy to be aimlessly wandering through new places.

--June 09 2005--

Dreamt about a kid who never brushed his teeth, so they all fell out. He goes to the dentist and asks to have them replaced, and the dentist gives him all different kinds to see what he likes. He settles on "piranha teeth", and this somehow turns his entire body into a fish-like creature. The dentist tells  him he's not really a fish, so he shouldn't try to breathe water, but the kid doesn't listen. He says he's going to go visit "the water people", and as the dentist tries to warn him again, the kid inhales and his head explodes.

--May 2005 (I think...I didn't record the date for this one, and didn't revisit it for months)--

Dreamt about a ring-shaped room with a circle of doors in the center, one of which was labeled "Wells shit", as in it supposedly contained random "shit" from H.G. Wells novels that would attack whoever entered. A group of people, which I took to be heroes in a movie, had to enter the door to escape some unseen enemy, and were immediately attacked by a giant lizard man.

The rest of the dream felt like an elaborate, cheesy 80's movie or perhaps an anime, and involved an effeminate, caped space emporor who collected women from various planets in his gigantic starship. He had a raygun that made people obliviously happy, allowing him to get away with whatever he wanted. At some point I saw the chamber where he kept his specimens, but the only one I remember seeing is a "woman" who looked like a chain of giant fish-eyes (or frog's eggs?).

He was then attacked by the teenage mutant ninja turtles, who looked more like beaked, reptilian gargoyles and had gliding membranes between their arms and legs. I recall thinking something like, "wow, I don't remember them looking so different in the 80's".


--April 08 05--

This dream was very short and very simple, but unusual in that I was making a lot of it up as it went along. Every other dream I've had was involuntary, but in this one I kept deciding what would happen next...I just don't know *why* I was choosing this stuff. In it, a little boy at home in the middle of the night is attacked by a walking, dead tree - with large, round red eyes - that enters through a window. It chases him up a set of stairs and into a bedroom where, apparently, his mean old stepfather is sleeping. The little boy hides under the bed and further conceals himself with the other junk under it so the tree will think he's gone and instead eat the stepfather. That was just about it, except that for the first few moments of this dream, the boy was actually some sort of rubber finger-puppet of a blue, tentacle-faced alien.

--Feb 26 04--

Dreamt about a mother and her two children who lived in a run-down little wooden house beside a dirt road in a barren wasteland. They were surrounded by other homes, but ALL were abandoned, and the three of them kept experiencing bizarre nightmare visions akin to the movie "Jacob's Ladder". Unfortunately I can't remember any of the visions except that the first one ends happily with the woman's husband leading them out of a claustrophobic stone maze with a smile on his face. He looked like Harrison Ford for some reason. I got the feeling he was long gone, probably dead, but they remained there waiting for him anyway. After many increasingly awful visions (which I'm a bit upset I can't recall details of), one of the children (I think there was a boy and a girl) makes an unintentionally creepy-looking windchime consisting of three faceless, wooden puppets representing the three of them. He hangs this on the porch, and the family sits back on the far end of their small front yard (with their backs against another, empty house) to "watch" it, even though there isn't any wind.

Watching the windchime sparks another awful vision, but this one I know I didn't see to begin with...I only saw the family staring blankly with their faces contorted. As they recover, the little boy asks why they see such "funny" things, and the mother replies that she doesn't know, with tears streaming down her face. At that very instant, a HUGE metallic truck, discreetly labeled "pesticide", barrels down the road by their house releasing copious amounts of pinkish-white vapor that completely fills the air in a swirling haze as a weird siren blares in the distance (shades of "Eraserhead?"). Remember that this area is abandoned; there isn't anything that needs dusting. Somehow the family doesn't see or hear any of this, possibly immersed in another hallucination.

At least at first. The scene suddenly changes to the mother and her two children running barefoot through a snowy path in a dead forest, apparently far away from their home. They never get tired, they just keep running with almost inhuman speed over miles and miles, smiling and laughing. I got the impression that they either finally realized the father wasn't coming back and fled their home, or that this was one last vision as the poison finally killed them. There was also a friendly little dog running along with them.

AWWW. ISN'T THAT THE CUTEST STORY?

No!?!? Well, before this dream I had a totally different one in which I was back in the early 80's buying various toys from that era to take back with me to the future. That was fun. Most of the toys never existed in the real world, though, and weren't very interesting except for one cool, solid rubber monster that I'll probably use in some of my art later: it had a body like a horse, but covered in shaggy brownish-orange fur with skeletal legs (they ended in skeletal human feet, rather than hooves). There also seemed to be several extra, smaller, vestigial bone legs sticking in and out of the fur. On its back were two very, very long, thin arms ending in three-clawed hands, and it had two heads. They were big and humanoid, but covered in overlapping bony plates. The eyes were tiny yellow beads, the mouths were shark-like, and there was a third, very different mouth where the two necks met. The heads had hair, which had more stunted bony limbs sprouting out. This may have been inspired by me sorting through my "monster in my pocket" figures a bit before I went to bed.


--Feb 12 05--

Lots of stuff in this dream, but I can only remember a few things. One involved me watching a foreign cartoon about talking animals, which was apparently VERY badly written, but it featured a family of giant cockroaches among the other animals, and one character was named Hannibal Lechter (despite having nothing in common with hannibal) and consisted of a birdlike skull made up of unconnected hovering fragments. Hannibal seemed to be a buisiness guru who thought very highly of himself and was working on some money-making scheme. Then the roach kid was given a gift of two pet beetles, one of which had a nozzle on its head and the other a brush. The beetles sprayed something or other with water, then brushed it down, transforming it into a pink rubber spider toy. I don't know what it was before.

--Early February '05--

-Dreamt I was having a housewarming party, but my home was very plain, big and white and empty. The guests were all supposedly victims from horror movies, including a girl who kept throwing up and a family with mutilated faces (called the spider family for no apparent reason)

-Something about a girl who was once abducted by aliens, and was taken to a place she thought was the same ship, but it kept turning out to be harmless. What she thought was a robot from her abduction turned out to be nothing but a pair of robot feet, that the man who brought her there started cuddling like a cat. Somehow this meant that it was just a normal, everyday home she was in.

-- December 6 04--

This one was reeeal out-there. What I remember began with me buying some odd rubber toys that included a green beetle with a huge eye on its back. Then it evolved into something I can scarcely describe, but I'll do my best:

I was some sort of tiny, tiny blue jellyfish thing swimming in space. Space was also blue, and had a lot of confusing cubical chambers and platforms. There were some dangerous creatures around that resembled tall, thin stacks of various pale blue faces (like an alien totem pole), the lowest of which had fly-like wings where ears would be. At certain points I saw all this as if it were a two-dimensional videogame. Anyway, my little jellyfish thing was swimming rapidly ahead of a whole massive group of jellies.

This is where it gets even harder to explain. All us flying jellies were headed for the same place, which was of PHENOMENAL importance. It had something to do with God, or transcending reality, or something. Despite our goals being the same, I felt that the other jellies would be doomed without mine getting there first, and none of them wanted it to. After struggling and racing against them for some time, my jelly made it to the destination - a hole in space that resembled a round, white eye. Apparently God's, or something. I guess.

After this, the jellies had all apparently fulfilled their ultimate purpose in existence. I have no idea what happened next, but I soon saw my jelly riding the back of a creature that resembled a fetal calf (or the baby in "Eraserhead") made out of pink sculpy and covered in scars. It spoke for a while, but I don't know what it said. The surrounding area was pitch black except for some cold blue-green light and some other, similar creatures that had no jellyfish riders.

After having this dream, I woke up and tried to take notes of it. Unfortunately, I was still mostly asleep. There's only two words, and they're very scribbly. They say either "Big Goldais" or "Big Goldars" and I have no idea what that's supposed to be a note about. I also seem to have scribbled the shape of a beetle. Neat.

Edit: people have since pointed out what an obvious euphimism this dream is for childbirth. Funny how I didn't notice. I tend to take everything I dream at face value.

--November 22 04--

After a great deal of the usual random pointless dreaming, I dreamt that a friend of mine (who doesn't really exist) was showing me his pet turtle. When I touched its shell, it hissed like a cat and withdrew. It then resembled a cross between a chameleon and a unicorn beetle, with very long, curving plier-like jaws and bulging eyes. Since we couldn't identify its species, I e-mailed it (yes, e-mailed it) to ~avacnea (because obviously he would know). Unfortunately, when it reached him (and I observed this as if I still had it with me in a tank) it turned out to be full of spindly, neon-blue "parasitoid spiders" which consumed it from the inside and left no trace of this presumably unknown new species.

Later in the dream I was checking out at a grocery store and briefly threatened by a giant, flying, hairy black turtle-shell covered in gold eyes and long, black needles.

--November 12 04--

What I recall as the start of this dream consisted of me and some other guy taking in a random wandering orphan. We apparently lived under a circular trapdoor in the ground. Little did we realize that the child was being pursued by a terrifying walrus. Yes, a walrus. This "walrus" resembled a big, burly man in a flannel coat with a puffy, wrinkly face, dozens of small, sharp teeth, walrus-type bristles and eyes that looked painted on. He moved lightning-fast but in a straight, upright walking position. We end up running from the safety of our hole and splitting up as we approach a GIGANTIC, abandoned beachfront house surrounded by groves of dead pine trees. We group on the roof of the house where the "walrus" can't reach us.

The dream then changed to one about a flood. This time I was in my own room, and outside it had flooded just short of the upper level of my house - still a remarkable flood because we live on a hill - after worrying a great deal for the books and papers in my room, I looked outside to see that most of the water had disappeared, leaving only fog and lush vegetation. As soon as I step outside, though, I see something glinting in a small puddle. It turns out to be some sort of amazingly bright, metallic copper butterfly chrysalis, floating on the water in such a way that it scarcely breaks the surface. I tried to pick it up and it skipped away across the water's surface into a bigger puddle. Eventually it led me so far out into the flooded areas that I had to swim, and finally I gave up, worrying on the way back that the muddy water is probably swarming with leeches and giant fish.

The rest of the dream is a muddled mess. The bits I can remember are:

-Shopping in a strangely constructed circle of stores with no front walls. Finding little to buy other than sticky rubber lizards.

-Chasing big, colorful salamanders into piles of wet moss.

-Trying to pick up what looks like a large slug only to find that it's part of a big, dead octopus.

-Watching an anime about a hairless, albino, three-foot-tall ninja with no nose or mouth who wears a red baseball cap.

--November 11 04--

Another long, complex series of dreams that I only remember the ending of: someone offered me a strange little metal jar resembling a cauldron, and I politely refused. He ended up opening it anyway, and it released thousands of tiny things resembling daddy long-legs with clusters of skulls for bodies. Their bite was supposedly lethal. They scattered all over the kitchen I was suddenly in and I woke up thinking they were all over the room.

--November 10 04--

This time, I was playing some sort of video game set in an arabian marketplace that eventually turned (like most games and movies in my dreams) into a "real" situation. I can't remember much of it except for someone auctioning off a mysterious artifact that was supposed to be cursed. He was warned of the curse by a huge, fuzzy grey and black creature with a flat face, froglike eyes and two lower jaws that worked like mandibles. Then something horrible happened to him that I can't remember, and probably never will. I was able to recall the details of this dream for only a few seconds.

--October 8 04--

Dreamt I was seeing some girl who's father looked like the Fly (from return of the fly) but with a toothy white smile and no eyes. He was very nice and lived in a treehouse.

-- October 04 --

Dreamt I was playing some sort of trivia game with a band of pirates on a stranded ship. Jabba the Hutt then appeared, crying, and asked us to help him find fifty dollars that someone took from him. After searching all over the ship and finding nothing, I end up sitting in a room with an alien in a spacesuit who's trying to hack into a computer. When he's done, he leaves the harddrive a plate of cookies and we exit the room. The dream ends with the harddrive sprouting little square robot feet, coming to life and eating the cookies through a really nasty-looking translucent grey trunk.

I still wonder why Jabba would care about $50. He has a palace, after all.

--??? (did not write down date)--

-I was in a house filled with bugs, worms and nondescript moving objects, and noticed a giant flea following a cat. I wanted to trap it under something like a laundry basket because it was obviously an amazing scientific discovery, but I got distracted somehow. I also remember a man in the house with a caterpillar on his face. He looked very dirty and in a bad mood.

-----

A brief little dream where I'm watching a movie again. This one had three vampires in it, and the female vampire wanted to be rid of some sort of cursed amulet. Somehow the amulet becomes a third eye on her head, and she ends up fused/melded to one of the other vampires as the third one buries them alive. I have absolutely no idea what was supposed to be going on.

--August 12 04--

Last night, I dreamt I was watching a tape of some extremely old movie in grainy black and white (I've actually never had a dream before that wasn't in entirely color), but I was basically "in" it anyway, experiencing the scenes myself like any other dream. I still thought I was just watching a video, though, so I never got sufficiently scared. Now on to the "movie:"

The story involved a group of people trying to survive in a huge, filthy, decaying house that they could never leave due to the monsters outside. A basic, cliche'd premise, but that's only the beginning: there was apparently something seriously wrong with the entire earth, and it seemed that any exposure to the world outside the building was as dangerous as the monsters themselves, which is where things get surreal. Here are the scenes I remember in roughly the order they occured:

-A group of survivors were clustered around the front door, unsure wether or not to open it. When one of them finally does he is greeted by a gaunt, spindly ghoul that hovers in the air and pulls him away as several nondescript, scurrying things sneak into the house and try to hide among the furniture.

-While looking around a room, I come face to half-face with a woman partially melded (down the middle) to a steel beam and a man fused face-down to a floor, the result of being spat on by one of the monsters. Both still alive but mindless.

-Looking out a window, I see a dead branch in front of the full moon with what looks like a gigantic wasp or mosquito perched on it. For only a split second it turns towards me with a human face.

-Later I watched something, probably one of the scurrying things, working its way into the mouth of a large man as he sits on a girder near the ceiling. Before it has even finished entering him he has transformed into a tremendous, bloated, wrinkled sac of grey flesh with a tiny, distorted face, slobbering black goo.

-One of the last scenes I remember involved someone who made it outside and was now as deformed as the elephant man, albeight with a very cheesy costume that also featured ears and horns like a goat. I got the feeling he was the very last of the protagonists or possibly the last man on earth, and I watched as he screamed madly and threw himself off the roof. I can't remember if he died or ran away into the woods...the dream was distorted enough here that both "endings" may have happened.

--June 23 04--

Disjointed dream I can only remember a few scenes from: having a "baby" that resembled a pink sheet with one eye, being at a gas station to grab snacks, and being a giant toad in a suit and tie, accidentally hopping into what looked like the backstage to some overly sleazy and gaudy play or TV show. I felt like I shouldn't be there, but I croaked some sort of approval to the people working there and they were VERY happy to be complimented by a toad. I felt important and very proud as I hopped back out the exit.

--June 22 04--

Now this was fun. I dreamt I was in some sort of department store, and as I'm coming out, people are talking on and on about mothman. It's very gloomy out (like all my dreams) but I see this HUGE black bird flying away that definately does seem to be the legendary mothman of point pleasant. The next second, though, it's standing within the doorway of the store and resembles a giant red-eyed crow. People are crowding around to look at it, but then it pulls out a bazooka, which is apparently timed to explode like a big bomb. The mothman-crow forces everyone to remain crowded around it while the bazooka's timer plays the tune to "we wish you a merry christmas". Everyone is terrified but they sing along, and I'm the only one able to sneakily escape. I see and hear the explosion behind me but I know in the back of my mind that mothman will survive and hunt me down, so I wave down a passing car. It turns out to be a cop car, but I know he won't believe my story, so I just tell him that I'm fleeing from someone dangerous and he offers to take me away where I'll be safe. A moment later, I'M a cop, patrolling some desolate winding bridge along an empty mountain. I feel very lonely, and it seems I've been doing this a very long time to hide from mothman. I get the feeling he'll eventually find me anyway, but that I'll be ready for him. End of dream.

---April 5, 2004---

Short, confusing little dream where I'm in some sort of really huge, glitzy mall and a "bug" from Men In Black asks me to get him some Royal Jelly (see the MIB animated series). I ask the cashier in a nearby store where I can find some and he directs me to "the bug store on the lower floor", but I get lost looking for it. I wind up wandering in circles all around the mall which seems to be growing busier by the minute, bustling with people and creatures in colorful, sometimes oriental-looking outfits. I got the feeling something pretty important was going on, which I guess is only natural when a shopping center is filling with circus freaks as I run errands for a space roach.

Somewhere along the way I wind up in a cramped little area lined with all sorts of knick-knacks and toys. This area is simultaneously supposed to be part of the mall, the house of some young girl, and the website of that girl, who is having a conversation with Fozzie. Yes, the Muppet. Somehow, looking at the junk on her walls is the same as reading her "site", and I get the feeling it's a very hilarious website of bad muppet fanfiction, which I compliment her on, then I leave to continue my quest for the bug-store. I wake up around this point.

---Like a bad cartoon---
(forgot to date this one when I wrote it down. Some night between March 31 and the above entry)

So I'm some sort of sidekick to this grungy, muscular antihero type of guy and we're in a huge spooky hotel-looking place. He goes into the bathroom to shower, shave, brush, and go about all his bathroom routines leaving me outside in the hall. He wants me to tell him if I see anything "unusual".

Throughout the course of the dream I wind up battling/avoiding a series of monsters and weirdos who come at me left and right from the halls while he ignores my pounding and hollering at the door. I don't really remember any of the "bad guys" other than a short, shadowy figure (who turned out to be colorfully and elaborately dressed as he got closer, but I can't describe how), some sort of plastic bear, and a guy wearing pants on his head who was apparently a "freaky child molestor" (according to some random voice). These all appeared very briefly until finally this little knife-wielding guy comes at me. He's short and bald with brown skin, long arms and a big head. My "partner" in the bathroom is blaring loud rock music at this point, and the little knife creature stops to shrug sympathetically at me instead of attacking. He tries to help me knock on the door, and I think we used his knife to pry it open, but the guy was in a towel and yelled for me to shut it again.

The knife guy shakes his head and moves on, accidentally dropping his knife behind him. I decide to be nice and give it back to him, but he turns around, smiles, and throws it straight at me. I duck, it goes back to him like a boomerang, and the dream is over.

---Baffling action-adventure!---
(forgot to date this one, too, and it was weeks before this actual update. I dreamt the following nonsense in mid or late march)

First was a dream where I'm exploring a burnt-out house, which has a lot of really cool toys scattered everywhere and on the shelves which I'm trying to cram into a pack I'm carrying. Eventually I discover an extra "back" to the house, which makes me feel really nostalgic for some reason and features a small room packed with weapons that look like mangled motorcycles. I walk past it and find a staircase going deeper and deeper into what looks like a well-lit department store. Suddenly it turns out i've been accompanied by some crazy marines who run ahead of me to confront something or other lurking deep in this mysterious underground mall.

This dream then ends and is replaced by another of those big epic story-type ones told in barely-related snippets. It revolved around a boy who kept changing shape. A lot went on that I can't even remember, but a few parts really stand out. One part resembles a birds-eye-view SNES rpg of some sort, and had the kid exploring the outside of an old, decaying house. He finds a sign and a slip of paper bearing messages from a ghost, which freaks him out at first, but they wind up making him laugh as the ghost's writing is mainly complaining about having to go to bed early and other kid stuff. A few seconds later he sees the ghost; a white cloth dome with three tubular "sleeves" or hoods arranged around its top with a yellow light in each. It scares him, briefly, but seeing it somehow grants him the ability to become a ghost himself, which looks like a black ball with two big yellow eyes.

Later, he's in a form with a round hairy body and long, striped, spidery legs and pushing through a crowd of random people and monsters inside the mouth of a cave who are clamoring to join some small band of explorers on their next adventure. There's two or three of these guys, and I get the impression that they're real weasely and dishonest, though not actually bad. The spider-kid gets to the front of the group and is immediately hired for his shapeshifting abilities (though he doesn't demonstrate them and remains a fuzzy, striped spider thingy for most of the rest of the dream).

At this point, the situation changes completely around so that the spider and two close friends of his (I don't know what they looked like) are fleeing from some villains in the cave who are led by a green mummy that bears a remarkable resemblance to Dick Dastardly. Outside the cave is a green brick wall over a small chasm and somehow into an underwater city. The kid uses his spiderlegs to climb across it and instantly into the city, but the villains finally appear outside the cave entrance and threaten them (I'm not sure how). The kid asks one of his nondescript friends to transform into a "sea dragon" to save them, and the whole city is suddenly being carried in the mouth of a goofy pink sea serpent...who accidentally drops it.

The dream then skips ahead yet again to where the kid, now back in his black ghost form, is flying back through the cave (or possibly a different one. It's a long, huge underground tunnel) apparently after having some sort of big revelation. Meanwhile, an older kid who hasn't been in the dream before but seems to be an important "good guy" is running through the cave on his own agenda, only to be stopped by several identical, extremely ugly men with bad teeth and a brown-haired girl in red armor. The ugly guys surround him in a circle and speak angrily in japanese (which he can't understand) and the girl walks up to him, smiles, and slashes him in half.

That's about where it ended. At some point (somewhere lodged in the middle of the underwater city parts) was a quick little segment involving Spongebob, who was talking to a huge and muscular beast about how they should team up because he has two brains, one of which is "for talking" (he spits up a pink sponge brain and does his usual spongebob laugh).

---February 24, 2004---

Not much, just a disjointed mishmash of ordinary dreaming during which I took a shower, talked to Zorak, and tried to buy ordinary chocolate bars only to find they were a whopping $2.50 apiece! But one part was kinda interesting enough to write about:

I was riding in some person's car down a hill in what looked like chinatown if it were smellier, dirtier and entirely in drab tan colors. We rode by a building with some sort of dead, pinkish, fuzzy (like cotton candy or fiberglass) octopus stretched over it, and someone else in the car put their hand over my eyes because they apparently thought it would offend me. Just ahead, though, is a second dead octopus, this one resembling dried grey-brown leather, and absolutely MASSIVE...we're talking mountain-sized, draped over several buildings at once. The street ahead was a very narrow path between folds of its tentacles and there was something about it that really, really worried me. It was about this point that I found myself buying overpriced candy and soon woke up.

I suppose the high prices were worthwhile for those weird brownie-filled reeses. They should make them in real life.

---February 22, 2004---

Okay, my mom has this friend named Carla who suffers from extreme paranoid schizophrenia. She thinks the CIA is watching her 24/7 (so she takes showers in the dark), hears voices, argues with noone ("soundwaves", according to her), thinks a mind-control ray was used to ruin her hair (long story)...I could go on and on. Sad and funny at the same time.

Last night, I had a dream about her, in which she stopped by at our house (uninvited, as usual) and was promptly decapitated by aliens. Her head sat on our kitchen table, and started screaming that it was actually the CIA who took her body. As I went to call an ambulance to come get her head, my mom looked right at it and said "Carla, that's RIDICULOUS!!!"

---February 5th, 2004---

This is the dream that finally encouraged me to put the lot of 'em up online.

It starts with me watching a movie on TV, supposedly about the revenge of Cell from dragonball Z (I'm not a fan. Pretty indifferent to the franchise. I may have fallen asleep with cartoon network on) but he resembles a pile of flesh riding in a flying saucer. At first he's sort of leathery with a human face, but later appears red and slimy with a single yellow eye and huge jaws. He floats around in this dank, wrecked house where a long-armed machine attaches the skins of various people and animals to him. This machine is lodged in the wall, and its four arms emerge from holes carrying the different skins.

Somewhere the dream cuts to me hanging around boredly in a total stranger's house (a really, really nice house, bright and sunny and open. I think I've dreamed about it before) and fiddling with an action figure of the bloody blob guy that squirts water. The house I'm in quickly becomes his house from the movie, and he changes into some manner of murderous doctor, trapped in his lair by police (or something). For one reason or another, the machine thing in the wall sprouts a face vaguely like a skinned, pink baluga whale (with a single, slimy yellow eyeball on one side). It smiles, coats the guy in a fresh batch of skins and then pushes him through a window into a cage in the next room, surrounded by cages upon cages of rotting animals (mainly tigers) and abnormally large children and babies, all with gaping wounds and large chunks missing in their heads. These are supposedly the results of the doctor's "experiments" (what the machine has been skinning) and the children start to close in on him moaning and gibbering. They're harmless...he just kicks them around, but it drives him insane. The dream ends with him screaming "What have I done!? What have I done to myself!?! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO NAAAAATUUURRRREE" (uh, it sounded a little less stupid in the dream) and plunging himself out a window onto some furniture and garbage where his neck snapped.


---January 2004---

This one was short, and I experienced it in a couple of quick, broken flashes, but there was a definate "storyline" to it. After getting various toys and knick-knacks out of the vending machines in a huge, empty, gloomy chain of stores, I find myself wandering in a dusty, abandoned building. The windows have black shadows crawling around on them that remind me of bacteria. I then see what looks like the front half of a tiny, baby cow sticking out of a hole and screaming. This scene blinks by ultra-fast and in red lighting and then suddenly I'm in the hallway, trying to squeeze my way past a large medical table with a woman on it. Tiny, round, black shadows are creeping around all over her and a doctor is standing nearby holding the back half of that tiny cow thing. After that, I find myself opening a door to see the same woman tearing her way out from under a plastic tarp with a huge butcher knife. Her head is just a slick, white tumor with tiny legs hanging off from it.

(Too much silent hill, I guess)

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Dreams after this point are in no particular order.
Until recently I would just describe them in a text file immediately after having them and never really bothered to put a date.
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---Meat-people from hell---

I'm in a house that noone would ever go near, not even to tear it down, and was left as though whoever lived there disappeared in the middle of their daily routines. In their bedroom I find a children's book with fat, rounded cardboard pages (you know the kind) that tells the story of what happened to him. Apparently, some beings resembling greasy mountains of pork had promised him fame and fortune until he betrayed them, and they took him away to wherever it was that they came from. Kinda like cenobytes, but without the class.

The book had rubber puppets of the monsters that you could operate with your fingers from holes in the back cover. I remember only one of them; a slab of meat that spoke through round, ragged holes covering its "body".

For some reason, at the end of this dream, I thought it had all been an episode of Cartoon Network's Ed, Edd & Eddy. I think a few of the characters were even there.


---How I almost got my first hideous eye---

In this dream I was in my yard, talking on a telephone (not a cell phone) and looking at these dead, withered frogs and bats poking out of holes in the ground and being blown about like leaves.

It was very gloomy, grey, windy and lonely out, like most of my dreams. I was talking on a phone to someone about how our property was now worthless (due to all the dead things) and as I walked by our old swimming pool I saw this guy made of white cloth with an eyeball for a head and pushing a shopping cart. For some reason I asked him what he "brought me", and he shouted, in a really phony, flat, deadpan voice: "YOUR FIRST. HIDEOUS. EEEEYYYYYYYYEEEE." and held his arms out to apparently fire a beam that would give me a "hideous eye" wherever it hit. I dodged and yelled angrily at him. He lowered his head sadly and pushed his cart down or up a flight of stairs (I couldn't tell, and they were outside somehow)


---Uncle Hannibal---

First, a completely different and shorter dream from that same night: I was killing zombies with the flash from a camera and got forced into a closet still standing amongst the wreckage of an old house. Luckily, the zombies all left when the sun came up. I spoke to a guy outside who told me they have a "poisonous tooth sticking out of their chest" and I tell him we should all pitch in to build a fort. This dream then ends and gives way to this next one:

A very epic dream about a mad scientist (I certainly do dream a lot about doctors). He had a GIGANTIC mansion with architecture I can scarecely describe. The rooms were all dark and narrow but there were beams of light pouring down from windows impossibly high up above. I was staying there for some reason or another with some other people, and we were very impressed at how he was so rich (I'll put this into words as best I can. It won't be accurate), he owned two cars built specially for jumping out of during high-speed chase scenes. One car for jumping out the left side and one car for jumping out the right. For a while, I was at a store down the street buying strange, tiny figurines of some sort. The only one I can remember was an eyeball with a gold crown.

Anyway, the doctor had this huge faceless maneqquin-like "robot" butler. He wanted his creation to know the joys of parenting, so he had been trying to build it a female companion that would give birth to a living, human child already implanted in her during her construction. The embryo was cloned from his wife's DNA, who didn't know about it. When she found out, she raided his laboratory and jammed her fingers into all the test tubes, squishing the tiny sample fetuses in each. She then went insane and killed herself.

After this the scientist spent some time weeping over a model of the female robot, which for some reason had a rabid, demonic looking model baby tearing out of the stomach. At some point I became the scientist, and I wandered around until I found the bathroom. When I opened it up, Hannibal Lechter was in the shower asking when I was going to let him out. I called him uncle hannibal and told him the door had been unlocked all along. We both started laughing and then I woke up.


---Body snatchers from beyond the web---

A very old dream at least a year or two prior to the one above. This time, giant black flies are attaching to people's necks and making them insane. The only cure is to beat the person senseless with a baseball bat. At some point I wind up in a chatroom I used to frequent, which is somehow a real place formed of many overlapping blue slides in an empty black void. I brandish my bat and ride one of the regulars (I don't remember who) like a surfboard down the slides as I bash people along the way. It ends around there.

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Dreams from my early childhood
These are short, so I won't title or organize them like the newer ones. Most of them are from the ages of 3-6, and they've remained vividly in my memory.
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-I'm being carried by a headless maneqquin in a department store. I had this dream back when I was tiny enough to still be carried like this by my mom when she went shopping. The cashier I met in the dream was completely oblivious to my pleas for help, and the maneqquin kept swaying back and forth as if to shake its head "NO!" if it had one.

-The inside of the trailer (I lived in one till I was about nine or ten) is lined in blinking, beeping lights, batteries and wires. Toys are running everywhere. I run to my room and hide under the covers, but as I look to my left, a generic jack-in-the-box I owned is lifting up the sheets to peek in and wave at me. I believe I found that toy and broke it the morning after.

-I'm all alone, unable to find my parents (this was my biggest fear as a kid) and the outside of the trailer is just a completely black void. I can hear noone and nothing in the house will work anymore. I then start to hear the voice of the kool-aid man singing "Waaap. Waaap. Simon says." over and over, which terrified me beyond all reason.

-I walk into my parents room and there's nothing but a rotten-looking woman on the bed with no eyes, long fingernails and an even longer nose.

-I'm outside, it's pitch black, and a house (not mine but on the same property) is completely covered in a meaty red slop. Someone onthe roof is getting splattered with the stuff from above, and he opens a pair of white, cartoonish eyes at me. I wake up feeling really, really nauseated.

-kept having dreams now and then about my toe or finger falling off and being ignored when I cry for tape or glue to fix it. In one of them, instead of falling off, my index finger just has yellow chew marks around the middle like a beaver-eaten tree.

-Once, I got up (for real. This would later become common. See below) and ran down the hall, only to be stopped by some large, dark object staring down at me with an orange reflector for an "eye". When I turned to go back, I found only a whole circle of them closing in on me.

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Night Terrors.
These are a common problem for many people. It's when you wake partially up and you're still dreaming. It's not really a "problem" for me, though...I find them too fascinating to mind them. Keep in mind I'm really, physically getting out of bed and walking/running around in these.
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-Woke up thinking there was no roof, and all I could see were pillars stretching high up into the clouds with grey, dismembered hands waving at me from the top. I leapt out into the hall and slammed the door shut to keep the hands "locked in", which I thought were all over the walls and bed, and I kept peeking inside the door thinking "WHY THE HELL DID HE USE REAL HANDS!?!?" Then I woke up completely and realized I didn't even know who or what I was talking about and there weren't any hands so I went back to bed.

-Thought some nondescript objects on my shelf were reaching out with orange "arms" of light that would follow me forever and ever. That's not really what I thought but it's the closest I can describe it. I made it halfway down the hall before I realized it was nonsense.

-In my most hilarious, I was at my girlfriend's mother's house and woke up thinking the room was full of men in hats and trenchcoats holding large cartoony horseshoe magnets. The feeling of deja-vu was particularly bad here. I believed I had seen these people every night of my entire life, and almost woke my girlfriend up to complain to her about how they never leave me alone. I kept thinking "why is it always magnets?!" before falling back asleep.

-Rather common for me to have these where I think the room is full of people, dogs, ticks, spiders, or other animals...usually on the ceiling.

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MISC
Fever-induced hallucinations, absurd sleep-talk and some things of note.
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-In summer 2003 I found a strange, poorly spelled flier taped up at a Wal-Mart for some crazy pyramid scheme. I showed it to some people online, and one of them wanted to look into it farther. Anyways, they asked my girlfriend over AIM to ask me what the phone number on it was, but I was still partly asleep. When she asked me the question I sat up and said (I fully remembered my words later that day, and she confirmed them) "there isn't any head. There's a torso and there's a brain but there's no head" and I attempted to "draw" whatever I was describing in mid-air with my fingers. I didn't understand why she seemed so confused by what I was saying, and I wound up plopping back to sleep.

-One night, I woke up and quickly wrote something down on scrap paper that I thought was very, VERY important to remember. When I got up that morning, I found I had only scribbled "MmPESS EVAC". There wasn't actually anything that week I was supposed to be doing, so it was sheer nonsense. I still have the note, but it's written in light pencil and rather worn.