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Doctor Dementist by scythemantis Doctor Dementist by scythemantis
Another short, silly horror story, sharing the same "universe" as the Harmburger! I wanted a drawing to go with it, but I don't like how the art turned out at all...and it's not really what I had in my head, just the closest approximation I was capable of drawing.

I'd always prided myself in taking great care of my teeth.

They'd all come in flawlessly, and I'd fastidiously kept every last one pearly and clean. This was due in no small part to a minor apprehension towards dentists. I'd never even been to one for more than a routine check-up, and I intended to keep it that way for as long as I could.

Unsurprisingly, I had never paid into any dental insurance, either.

That's how I found my idiot self in the single skeeviest waiting room I'd ever had to endure. My first toothache had struck swiftly and mercilessly. The persistent throbs of sharp, searing pain like a small but surprisingly loud heckler in my mouth, mocking my years of confident brushing and flossing.

I'd happened upon the public clinic purely by accident, its yellowed sign advertising "No isurance?(sic) No prob em! walk ins 80$$"

It was fishy, sure, but I couldn't afford much else for at least another week, and at this point, I just wanted the damn thing pulled. How hard could that be?

Nobody was there to greet me when I entered - not even another patient - but a flickering sign near the ceiling urged me to take a seat. A chipper "be right with you" was barely audible behind the lone, unmarked office door.

The only thing more hideous than the room's plaid, green-brown carpeting was its wallpaper of tan and yellow squiggles. The tattered reading material was a good decade out of date, and the selection astoundingly haphazard. A magazine for reptile enthusiasts. A Doll Collector's monthly price guide. Two different magazines about quilting and something that looked like a Korean "Highlights." The room's sole decor was a giant, framed drawing of a smiling mouth in corrective headgear, the metal contraption forming goofy little arms and legs. "WHATEVER, GUYS! IT'S DOCTOR DEMENTIST" was printed below it in comic sans. The cheesy yet somewhat disquieting pun name was in bright red.

Fifteen minutes passed. Another cautious hello was met with the same muffled be-right-with-you.

I was just beginning to lose my patience when the door startlingly burst open, and the next thing I knew, I was strapped into a dentist's chair.


Were they supposed to do that?

I couldn't even remember how I'd gotten there. I couldn't remember anything between that door swinging open and finding myself captive. Something cold and metallic was holding my mouth open.

I craned my neck as far as I could, and grunted out a few meek cries for attention. I couldn't see or hear a soul, and the surroundings did nothing to calm me. A seemingly excessive selection of gleaming, painful-looking tools were laid out on at least a half-dozen plastic trays, and the walls were plastered with old X-rays that only seldom seemed to fall under the "dental" umbrella. Fractured ribs. Deformed skulls. Foreign objects lodged in embarrassing places. Several X-rays were quite clearly taken from animals, and there were a few pregnancy sonograms.

...What back-alley butcher was I subjecting myself to?

I was just about to call out again when I saw something moving.

Something moving that was not a person.

What had entered my rather limited field of vision was taking some time to process. It looked at first like a meaningless pile of junk, a jumbled tangle of metallic joints and hinges loosely wired and bolted together. It shambled sideways in an awkward crab-walk, knife-like "legs" adding even more scratches to the cheap-looking linoleum floor. Something about the way it moved made me uncomfortable in a very particular way, a certain unreal quality I couldn't quite place.

At the center of it all was an enormous set of false teeth, suspended in a web of gleaming wires and rubber bands. I was suddenly reminded of that artwork in the waiting room. What the hell was that thing's name?

If this was some sort of puppet show, some educational robot here to talk to me about oral hygiene, it was both far more impressive and far more terrifying than it had any right to be. Is this where they had sunk their budget? Whatever happened to a good old sock with googly eyes?

I jumped in my restraints as a harsh, gravely voice erupted from behind its fake gums.


This was an odd thing for the monstrosity to say. I think I'd have remembered ever meeting Satan's dentures before.


It spoke with a hollow, mechanical reverberation, like something out of Doctor Who, the teeth opening and closing completely out of synch with the dialog.


The jaws chattered rapidly in what seemed like laughter at a private joke.

A set of jointed, metal arms and hands unfolded from the contraption's sides. It teetered its way to the nearest table and began to pick through the surrounding tools, carefully wiping each with a dripping, blackened rag. It only made them dirtier, trailing long, snotty strands of glistening filth.

I could feel my heart pounding as I watched the grotesque thing at work. I knew what had been bothering me; even for a giant, metal denture-crab, it simply didn't look real. It moved with the unmistakable stagger of a stop-motion special effect, and it even had a sort of enlarged, super-imposed quality, inconsistent with the lighting of everything else in the room.

I was already under. That had to be it. I was whacked out on laughing gas. I'd wake up any minute now, in a normal dentist's chair, a flesh-and-blood human being critiquing my brushing technique.

It was the only conceivable explanation that made why couldn't I believe it?

Why couldn't I shake the panic?


I could only whimper pitifully in response.


I was hardly surprised that "Anna" appeared to be nothing but a giant, grimy gas tank, rolling of its own accord on mismatched wheels. Its plastic hose silently writhed through the air like a pale, transparent eel, landing an oily, smeared mouthpiece squarely over my face.

I didn't care anymore if I was high or dreaming or God only knows. I began to fight against my restraints with all my might, heaving and lurching with every muscle in my body. Nothing gave. The chair itself barely shook, like it was all one seamless hunk of iron.

The demon braces only waggled a steely finger. "I must request that you keep still, if you don't mind; I haven't got my eyes today."

I whimpered again.

Anna the gas-tank turned one large, shattered meter towards her cohort, and a tinny, feminine voice echoed from somewhere unseen.

"What do?"

The knife-legged "doctor" adjusted a large headlamp to face my mouth, apparently not noticing that it was long burnt out.


Anna's little meter-head cocked to one side, like a confused puppy.

"...What's a... teeth?"

As the monster fired up an alarmingly large drill, I became very aware that I wasn't actually receiving any gas.

It gave a creaky, metallic little shrug.

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ChiantiArts Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I really like it!!! It is amazing! :D
kaijusaurus387 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014   General Artist
Can i put this on my Creepypasta blog.
scythemantis Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
kaijusaurus387 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014   General Artist
Sweet! i need your name though.
scythemantis Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Jonathan Wojcik and also credit my site, :)
MrMadManiac Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013  Hobbyist
BOY am I glad I just got my braces removed, yesterday!
Senthai Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013
Biggest waste of $80 ever.

What creeps me out about this I have no idea what Dementist is supposed to be. Lines like "ARE YOU PLEASED BY THE OUTCOME OF A SPORTING EVENT AND/OR ELECTION PROCESS OF YOUR CHOICE?" seem to indicate some sort of malfunctioning robot, yet "Damned if I know" is a very un-robotic thing to say. The only assumption I can make is that he is a extraterrestrial, possibly extradimensional being trying to imitate a human despite having only a very tentative knowledge of human ways.
Capsloco Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Looks like Dr Faustus from Thrill Kill got rid of his Body. ^^
Delcat Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2013
I'd advise against mentioning Doctor Who directly and alluding to it instead, but otherwise glorious.
scythemantis Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It was meant to sound kinda general, not like they're even very familiar with the show but trying to vaguely place what that kind of voice reminded them of :p
Delcat Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2013
Ah, sorry. I've been on Tumblr too long |D
scythemantis Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
when I was a kid adults would look at any old robot or spaceship and regard as "some kinda star wars thing" etc. :)
Shuman100 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Someone who just doesn't give a damn.I'll take for free
Demialc-neeb-sah-em Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013
...Would it be wrong to take this critter as my first mortasheen character, when it's done?

All my monsters would have the SHINIEIST white teeth, and crippling phobias.
SoupyGeorge Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013
The doctor's more about the drillin' and the pullin' and the gougin' than keeping teeth healthy. And once he's done with the teeth, he starts on the gums.
Senthai Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013
They would have the shiniest teeth, because the good doctor would tear out all of their teeth and replace them with shiny metal piranha-jaw dentures.
Yaruzh Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013
I loved imagining his voice. Seriously. That was the best part of this for me. XD
Omny87 Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013
This is a lot more comical than Harmburger and had a much faster payoff, but was still enjoyable nonetheless. So they share the same "universe"? Is this some alternate world where all shady businesses are operated by hideous manifestations of cartoon mascots and animate machines with space-warping powers?

The only thing that bugs me is when Dr. Dementist says "I must request that you keep still, if you don't mind; I haven't got my eyes today", since it's not in all caps like the rest of his dialogue.
scythemantis Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oops, it was meant to be; I'd added all the caps in later.

I actually think of these as part of "Noisy Tenant" now, I setting I'd come up with before Mortasheen and never revived, until now I guess. It's really an endless maze of different monsters and nightmarish versions of conventional things, and people can accidentally slip into it.
Omny87 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013
Hmm, I just looked back at your Noisy Tenant pictures and found it fascinating.

The "Gore Haus" you described sounds a lot like this building I used to go to for my internship last summer. It was an old building that was once a carriage factory back in the late 1800's but was recently repurposed as a sort of apartment complex, but with art studios instead of apartments. On one side of the building was a small art gallery, and on the other was a printing company that printed custom greeting cards and other stuff. Just walking around you could see the old parts of the building clashing with the new- many of the walls were big, flat sheets of new drywall, but the original floorboards were still there, turned dark and warped from age and wear. You could even see the floor "sag" around support beams like tent cloth. Water pipes and electric wires snaked everywhere, almost haphazardly in some places where holes were drilled through centuries-old wood. The basement looked like an ancient prison, all crumbling stone walls with a huge boiler squatting in one dark, drippy corner. There was also a snack room where everyone had lunch that had the biggest contrast in age I had seen- a microwave from the 80's, a brand-new snack machine, and next to that a 7-Up soda machine that looked like it came from the 60's. It sold cans of Pepsi products for 65 cents each. It's a really awesome building.

I c
snagglycroc Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013  Student General Artist
ChildIncognito Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013
Dementist... brilliant.
MichaelJLarson Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Huh... Welp, now I'm terrified of dentist's offices for life now... o_o
UndesiredTruths Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013
That was incredibly good. The description of every interlocking detail and the false atmosphere were creepy but then you add a pair of talking dentist-equipment homunculus's who have no idea what they're doing and that really gets the story going. What could be laughable in any other situation is terrifying in this one. I especially love the line "As the monster fired up an alarmingly large drill, I became very aware that I wasn't actually receiving any gas." A brilliant story with a great picture.
scythemantis Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
aw thanks! I tend to find things creepier if they would easily just be funny, childish or stupid in a different context, just as many of the most disturbing things in pop culture were misaimed attempts to be cute :)
Cliffiffifordio Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I just got back from the dentist...
Sylizar Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013
Horrifying, yet oddly funny. LOVE IT!

P.S. I think that design is great.
Trollfeetwalker Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013
Yet another contender for "worst things to happen on a Tuesday."
spalpp Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013
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Submitted on
April 3, 2013
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